1
00:00:57,145 --> 00:00:59,147
Look, honey,
at that beautiful funeral.
2
00:00:59,279 --> 00:01:00,748
I've never seen so many flower.
3
00:01:00,882 --> 00:01:02,550
Yeah, he was a nice man too,
4
00:01:02,682 --> 00:01:04,184
but never had any fun.
5
00:01:04,318 --> 00:01:06,820
Didn't have time.
Just worked and made money.
6
00:01:06,954 --> 00:01:09,123
He didn't even have time
to enjoy himself.
7
00:01:09,255 --> 00:01:10,525
Poor man.
8
00:02:04,134 --> 00:02:05,736
I'm so sorry. I don't think
9
00:02:05,871 --> 00:02:08,073
I'm gonna be able
to make the game today.
10
00:02:08,372 --> 00:02:09,640
Nah, it's okay. It's t-ball.
11
00:02:09,773 --> 00:02:11,451
The kids hardly know
they're making the game.
12
00:02:11,475 --> 00:02:13,110
How are the boys? Can I say hi?
13
00:02:13,244 --> 00:02:15,379
Yeah. Yeah, uh...
14
00:02:15,512 --> 00:02:17,014
Gimme...
15
00:02:17,749 --> 00:02:18,749
Yes.
16
00:02:18,817 --> 00:02:19,817
How are my dudes?
17
00:02:19,951 --> 00:02:21,787
Daddy left us in the car.
18
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,722
Okay, you're a funny boy.
19
00:02:24,122 --> 00:02:26,057
Alright. Go, walk to the field.
20
00:02:26,523 --> 00:02:29,327
- Here's your other.
- Hi. Hey, buddy.
21
00:02:30,261 --> 00:02:31,296
Whatcha playing?
22
00:02:33,663 --> 00:02:35,233
Worst mother ever.
23
00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:37,001
He doesn't even
wanna talk to me. Look.
24
00:02:37,134 --> 00:02:39,370
Look he's gonna dance
with an iPad on his wedding day.
25
00:02:39,504 --> 00:02:40,504
Hey, babe.
26
00:02:40,538 --> 00:02:42,240
Right now, it's like this.
27
00:02:42,372 --> 00:02:43,807
Close the deal,
28
00:02:43,942 --> 00:02:46,311
and then we'll slowly
reintroduce you to the kids.
29
00:02:46,444 --> 00:02:48,480
Oh, thanks. That's so sweet.
30
00:03:36,194 --> 00:03:37,663
Oh!
31
00:03:39,596 --> 00:03:41,699
Almost done.
32
00:03:42,434 --> 00:03:43,669
Either of you smoke?
33
00:03:49,372 --> 00:03:50,841
Okay.
34
00:03:51,942 --> 00:03:54,111
I'm just shooting corporate
an email.
35
00:03:54,245 --> 00:03:56,781
See if we can get that quote
a little lower.
36
00:04:05,122 --> 00:04:06,122
stone.
37
00:04:13,863 --> 00:04:14,863
We're good.
38
00:04:15,199 --> 00:04:16,866
All right, here we go, 25.
39
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,969
Let's take it
for a ride, big boy.
40
00:04:21,439 --> 00:04:23,707
Yes! Go! Go!
41
00:04:23,841 --> 00:04:25,110
Whoo!
42
00:04:26,677 --> 00:04:28,879
Take two! Take two!
43
00:04:29,314 --> 00:04:30,749
Go, dude!
44
00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:35,352
Now come three. Come three!
45
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,126
Get dirty!
46
00:04:41,459 --> 00:04:43,194
Don't get dirty. Yeah!
47
00:04:43,793 --> 00:04:44,895
Safe!
48
00:05:05,081 --> 00:05:07,317
All right. So you feeling
a little better?
49
00:05:07,451 --> 00:05:08,451
Okay, great.
50
00:05:09,420 --> 00:05:12,424
I'm checking her cognitive
function, costillo. It's fine.
51
00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:15,458
How's she look?
52
00:05:15,826 --> 00:05:17,329
Let's get that gatorade.
53
00:05:17,995 --> 00:05:20,297
- Come here.
- Yay, I've won a game.
54
00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:23,300
Yeah. You've got a good game,
go, go, go.
55
00:05:23,434 --> 00:05:24,434
Hi.
56
00:05:24,668 --> 00:05:25,902
Chip off the old block.
57
00:05:26,036 --> 00:05:28,338
Yeah, let's hope his arm
stays attached.
58
00:05:28,973 --> 00:05:30,641
How in the heck did he get
59
00:05:30,774 --> 00:05:32,976
bubblegum stuck inside his ear?
60
00:05:33,476 --> 00:05:34,879
Oh! Look at that.
61
00:05:35,913 --> 00:05:37,981
I used to watch
your daddy play here.
62
00:05:38,382 --> 00:05:40,418
I probably saw
every game he played.
63
00:05:40,552 --> 00:05:43,087
- Until he got drafted.
- What's drafted?
64
00:05:43,221 --> 00:05:45,622
- That's a great question.
- What's drafted? Yeah.
65
00:05:45,757 --> 00:05:47,057
Great game today, Charlie.
66
00:05:47,191 --> 00:05:49,060
Sorry, we're just
in a bit of rush.
67
00:05:49,192 --> 00:05:52,163
So did you hear?
Coach Miller is retiring.
68
00:05:52,295 --> 00:05:54,899
- I didn't.
- Yeah. Search is on.
69
00:05:55,033 --> 00:05:57,669
Maybe you could
throw your name in the hat?
70
00:05:58,136 --> 00:06:00,872
Yeah, that's a big jump
from t-ball.
71
00:06:01,605 --> 00:06:02,605
Hey, Levi!
72
00:06:02,706 --> 00:06:04,341
I heard you're pitching today?
73
00:06:04,942 --> 00:06:06,210
I, I am.
74
00:06:06,343 --> 00:06:09,379
You got this, man. Stay strong.
75
00:06:10,081 --> 00:06:11,247
Good to see you, Charlie.
76
00:06:11,382 --> 00:06:12,917
- Tell your dad hi.
- Will do.
77
00:06:13,317 --> 00:06:14,918
- And call the coach!
- Yeah.
78
00:06:18,622 --> 00:06:19,956
Kids, close your eyes.
79
00:06:20,091 --> 00:06:22,326
Dad is not doing anything.
Close those eyes.
80
00:06:28,066 --> 00:06:30,235
Dad is not texting.
81
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,029
Yeah.
82
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,133
Called in a sitter
for this place?
83
00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:49,435
Don't worry.
Don't worry. I got you.
84
00:06:49,835 --> 00:06:50,835
Beautiful light.
85
00:06:50,870 --> 00:06:52,304
Wow.
86
00:06:54,807 --> 00:06:57,177
Ah, thank you so much. Wow.
87
00:06:58,010 --> 00:06:59,078
- Good?
- Yep.
88
00:06:59,479 --> 00:07:01,547
- All right. Deal closed?
- Uh, no.
89
00:07:03,450 --> 00:07:05,051
You said the deal
was gonna be closed
90
00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,863
- on the first of the
month, it's the first
91
00:07:06,986 --> 00:07:08,363
of the month. Yeah.
That was the plan.
92
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:09,955
Until two billionaires
with egos the
93
00:07:10,089 --> 00:07:11,490
size of mount
kiliman-jaro
94
00:07:11,624 --> 00:07:13,893
decided to put a pause
on a $46 million deal
95
00:07:14,025 --> 00:07:15,627
over two trees
that were left off,
96
00:07:15,762 --> 00:07:17,163
mistakenly, on the survey.
97
00:07:22,902 --> 00:07:24,271
Choo-choo.
98
00:07:27,807 --> 00:07:28,908
Thank you.
99
00:07:32,477 --> 00:07:34,447
- How are the boys?
- Ah, well,
100
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,514
since the last time
you saw them. Let's see.
101
00:07:36,648 --> 00:07:37,984
Macguire started shaving
102
00:07:38,116 --> 00:07:39,894
and the toddler
joined the merchant marines, so.
103
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:43,221
No, they're good. I read them,
bathed them, fed them.
104
00:07:43,355 --> 00:07:44,689
Uh. Hey.
105
00:07:44,823 --> 00:07:47,692
Sitter came early. Said we could
stay out as late as we want.
106
00:07:47,826 --> 00:07:49,628
Haha, I wish.
107
00:07:50,196 --> 00:07:51,797
I mean,
this deal is, like, next level.
108
00:07:51,931 --> 00:07:55,067
My year-end bonus means
that we can finally put a dent
109
00:07:55,201 --> 00:07:56,402
in paying off law school,
110
00:07:56,534 --> 00:07:58,603
start the 529
for the kids' college.
111
00:07:58,738 --> 00:08:01,674
I mean, the kids are, like,
eight years old combined.
112
00:08:01,807 --> 00:08:04,476
We should've started
when they were born, Mike.
113
00:08:04,976 --> 00:08:06,278
All right. Look, babe.
114
00:08:07,513 --> 00:08:10,350
I don't understand
anything that you do,
115
00:08:11,051 --> 00:08:13,686
but I get why you do it.
And, honey, I...
116
00:08:14,153 --> 00:08:16,555
I see you, I believe in you.
117
00:08:16,688 --> 00:08:17,688
And I...
118
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,625
Got to answer that text?
119
00:08:20,759 --> 00:08:22,193
Sorry. I just...
120
00:08:22,494 --> 00:08:25,230
Don't get a whole lot of
real life adult interaction.
121
00:08:25,364 --> 00:08:28,133
And yet, here we are,
in real life.
122
00:08:28,267 --> 00:08:30,537
Two adults, interacting.
123
00:08:32,839 --> 00:08:34,240
Listen. I was thinking.
124
00:08:34,374 --> 00:08:36,743
When the deal closes,
which it will,
125
00:08:37,409 --> 00:08:39,611
what if, you and I,
126
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:41,144
take a trip?
127
00:08:41,212 --> 00:08:42,581
Just the two of us, no kids.
128
00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,984
Couple days
on the bourbon trail.
129
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:47,486
That sounds...
130
00:08:55,794 --> 00:08:57,028
Busy day?
131
00:08:57,163 --> 00:08:58,763
They wanted to wish you
a happy birthday.
132
00:08:58,864 --> 00:09:00,367
Oh, yeah, I'm sure they do.
133
00:09:01,701 --> 00:09:02,735
Oh.
134
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,403
This is work.
135
00:09:05,538 --> 00:09:06,538
Mmm-hm.
136
00:09:07,907 --> 00:09:09,609
Okay. I, uh, I'm starving.
137
00:09:09,743 --> 00:09:12,545
Please order me something.
I'm gonna go powder my nose.
138
00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,547
- Okay. What would you like?
- Oh, god.
139
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,749
I can't make
another decision today. Um.
140
00:09:17,417 --> 00:09:18,518
No chicken, no beef.
141
00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:21,020
Uh, nothing too starchy.
No dairy.
142
00:09:21,153 --> 00:09:23,255
Just veggies,
but not drowning in sauce.
143
00:09:23,389 --> 00:09:25,658
Okay, so basically air,
medium-rare.
144
00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:27,360
- You got me.
- Got it.
145
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:32,632
Where are you?
146
00:09:32,764 --> 00:09:34,734
We're gonna order
when she gets back. Thank you.
147
00:09:34,868 --> 00:09:36,369
Don't you dare eat.
148
00:09:36,735 --> 00:09:39,304
My taco guy has been cooking
for, like, tres días.
149
00:09:39,438 --> 00:09:41,439
Karen, the deal didn't close.
150
00:09:41,573 --> 00:09:43,675
She promised the deal
would be closed today,
151
00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:46,612
and it didn't. She has to work
all night. We are!
152
00:09:46,745 --> 00:09:49,648
Oh, no, no, no, buddy.
This party has already set sail.
153
00:09:49,782 --> 00:09:52,051
The only thing you need to do
is get her in that dress.
154
00:09:52,183 --> 00:09:53,851
Well, how exactly do I do that?
155
00:09:53,985 --> 00:09:55,520
I don't know, Mike.
156
00:09:55,855 --> 00:09:58,257
Maybe convince her
it's something kinky.
157
00:09:58,624 --> 00:09:59,624
Get here.
158
00:09:59,991 --> 00:10:02,761
Richard, I peed
in my office for you. Okay?
159
00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:04,764
I was on the phone
with you all day long,
160
00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:07,232
I realized I never
wished you happy birthday.
161
00:10:07,365 --> 00:10:08,900
- Thank you.
- Now, that's said.
162
00:10:09,034 --> 00:10:13,773
But while I have you, what if e
buy the seller's stock?
163
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:14,773
Wait.
164
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:16,242
Repaper on a Saturday?
165
00:10:16,975 --> 00:10:19,678
Wait. You want me
to recreate 150 pages
166
00:10:19,812 --> 00:10:22,215
so you can assume
the guy's debt?
167
00:10:22,347 --> 00:10:23,348
Is that bad?
168
00:10:23,482 --> 00:10:25,617
Yes, yes, it's very bad.
169
00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:28,219
Okay, look. I'm gonna go eat.
170
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,756
I'll call you in an hour. Okay?
171
00:10:30,889 --> 00:10:34,626
- I want to stop, but we...
- Okay, I'm hanging up now.
172
00:10:35,995 --> 00:10:38,264
- Hey.
- Aw, thanks.
173
00:10:39,499 --> 00:10:40,666
What are you doing?
174
00:10:40,799 --> 00:10:42,567
I'd like to open my gift
with dessert,
175
00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:45,370
- if you don't mind.
- Actually, I kind of do mind.
176
00:10:45,504 --> 00:10:46,739
Well, I'm starving.
177
00:10:46,873 --> 00:10:48,575
Please. It would really
mean a lot to me.
178
00:10:49,707 --> 00:10:50,707
Okay.
179
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,549
Is that my prom dress?
180
00:10:58,683 --> 00:11:00,952
Nope,
it's your homecoming dress.
181
00:11:01,253 --> 00:11:02,589
Uh, I'm confused.
182
00:11:02,721 --> 00:11:04,856
Well, your mom had to throw away
your prom dress
183
00:11:04,990 --> 00:11:07,125
because of the slab lake.
You know it got moldy.
184
00:11:07,259 --> 00:11:08,827
No, no, I'm confused
why you're giving
185
00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:10,696
me my homecoming
dress on my birthday.
186
00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:12,831
Oh, don't worry.
I got is resized.
187
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,100
Oh, cool. Thank for
clarifying that necessity.
188
00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:16,935
And why? Why did we resize this?
189
00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:18,570
Oh, because I think
190
00:11:18,703 --> 00:11:20,739
you were the
homecoming queen I ever saw
191
00:11:20,873 --> 00:11:23,975
and I wanna make love to you
tonight in it again.
192
00:11:24,110 --> 00:11:26,245
Oh, okay. Wow.
193
00:11:26,946 --> 00:11:27,946
I knew it.
194
00:11:29,347 --> 00:11:30,915
You're having a mid-life crisis.
195
00:11:31,549 --> 00:11:34,285
I wouldn't exactly call it
a crisis, but come on.
196
00:11:34,419 --> 00:11:36,389
Why don't you just
get in there and...
197
00:11:37,023 --> 00:11:38,023
Put it on.
198
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,261
Are you having a stroke?
199
00:11:42,394 --> 00:11:43,696
What? No.
200
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:45,230
Pam.
201
00:11:45,965 --> 00:11:48,200
Go back to the bathroom
and put on that dress.
202
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,635
No, you go to the bathroom
and put on the frickin' dress.
203
00:11:50,769 --> 00:11:52,904
Come on, what's more fun
than a little role playing?
204
00:11:53,038 --> 00:11:55,640
Oh, my god. If this is
some fifty shades thing,
205
00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:58,476
you know, you know
that that is not my jam.
206
00:12:00,812 --> 00:12:02,215
Uh. Just the cheque, please.
207
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,982
I thought you ordered.
I'm starving.
208
00:12:04,115 --> 00:12:06,485
Just the cheque. Thank you.
209
00:12:07,119 --> 00:12:08,119
Mike.
210
00:12:08,452 --> 00:12:09,621
What is happening?
211
00:12:09,754 --> 00:12:12,192
You are freaking me out
right now.
212
00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:16,930
All of our friends,
and I mean all of them,
213
00:12:17,062 --> 00:12:18,730
are around the corner
at a banquet hall,
214
00:12:18,865 --> 00:12:21,100
waiting for you
to arrive in this dress.
215
00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:22,847
Karen and I,
under the impression
216
00:12:22,967 --> 00:12:24,647
that your deal would
be done today, the today
217
00:12:24,671 --> 00:12:26,072
you promised
it would be done by,
218
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,574
decided to throw you
a surprise '80s prom party.
219
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,543
I thought
it was just you and me tonight.
220
00:12:30,676 --> 00:12:32,778
I specifically said,
please, whatever you do...
221
00:12:32,912 --> 00:12:35,281
Pam, don't say it,
it's too late.
222
00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:38,850
I just, I just wanna go home.
223
00:12:38,984 --> 00:12:42,388
I wanna eat, go home,
make time, and work.
224
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,189
Do you not
wanna make time with me?
225
00:12:44,323 --> 00:12:46,725
Of course
I wanna make time with you.
226
00:12:46,859 --> 00:12:47,893
After the party.
227
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,794
- Michael.
- Pamela.
228
00:12:49,928 --> 00:12:52,264
- Mike.
- Pam.
229
00:12:56,534 --> 00:12:58,837
- Can I at least get other shoes?
- We don't have time.
230
00:12:58,971 --> 00:13:02,207
I look like I'm going to, like,
a pilgrim prom.
231
00:13:02,341 --> 00:13:03,475
You look great.
232
00:13:08,047 --> 00:13:10,950
Shut your pie holes!
They're here!
233
00:13:14,286 --> 00:13:15,455
I got this!
234
00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:18,759
Happy birthday!
235
00:13:19,293 --> 00:13:20,827
Look at Pam!
236
00:13:21,461 --> 00:13:24,497
Wow. What a surprise.
237
00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:26,366
And what is this?
238
00:13:26,499 --> 00:13:30,437
I am finally
Jake Ryan's friend.
239
00:13:30,571 --> 00:13:32,672
Just cut it. Okay.
Say your shaloms
240
00:13:32,807 --> 00:13:33,908
and then I'm dragging you
241
00:13:34,041 --> 00:13:35,643
to the bathroom
to fix your face.
242
00:13:35,775 --> 00:13:38,912
Not that there's anything
wrong with it. Much. Move!
243
00:13:40,214 --> 00:13:41,214
Happy birthday.
244
00:13:41,481 --> 00:13:43,750
Crockett and tubbs.
245
00:13:43,884 --> 00:13:46,187
- Very nice.
- This is Elvis.
246
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,089
Hi, Elvis. P-shhh.
247
00:13:49,623 --> 00:13:51,225
- Hi, Travis.
- Hey, friend.
248
00:13:51,357 --> 00:13:52,726
Happy birthday.
249
00:13:52,860 --> 00:13:54,595
- You did, bro.
- I did it.
250
00:13:55,195 --> 00:13:56,297
Thank you.
251
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:59,266
Oh, my god,
you invited your parents.
252
00:13:59,399 --> 00:14:01,100
You look lovely, dear.
253
00:14:01,235 --> 00:14:03,971
I'm surprised this still fits.
254
00:14:05,205 --> 00:14:07,107
Yeah, well, Mike had it resized.
255
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,976
Hey, who do we gotta
kill to get a chair around here?
256
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,678
I'll get you set up, dad.
257
00:14:13,414 --> 00:14:15,716
Oh, but wait. Okay. Oh!
258
00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:17,150
Pam.
259
00:14:17,517 --> 00:14:19,419
- Freddy, you look amazing.
- I know.
260
00:14:19,552 --> 00:14:21,120
Happy birthday.
261
00:14:21,787 --> 00:14:24,491
The bags really tie
that outfit together.
262
00:14:24,625 --> 00:14:27,461
You look like a terrorist
at a nudist convention.
263
00:14:27,593 --> 00:14:28,593
Thanks, dad.
264
00:14:28,928 --> 00:14:30,863
Ran into old Charlie
the other day.
265
00:14:30,997 --> 00:14:32,065
Who's Charlie?
266
00:14:32,199 --> 00:14:33,533
Blind bat still calling games?
267
00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:36,370
He said
coach Miller is retiring.
268
00:14:37,603 --> 00:14:40,006
Told you.
Get a teaching credential.
269
00:14:40,373 --> 00:14:41,707
Yeah, you did say that.
270
00:14:42,109 --> 00:14:44,011
- I got you something.
- Oh?
271
00:14:44,145 --> 00:14:45,413
- Yeah.
- Wow.
272
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:47,280
Huh?
273
00:14:47,447 --> 00:14:49,050
Behind this is an online code
274
00:14:49,183 --> 00:14:50,417
for my bestselling seminar,
275
00:14:50,551 --> 00:14:52,520
"Freddy or not,
you can be rich like me".
276
00:14:52,652 --> 00:14:54,154
- Wow.
- You are welcome.
277
00:14:54,287 --> 00:14:55,988
I will check this out.
278
00:14:56,122 --> 00:14:57,190
I know.
279
00:14:57,757 --> 00:15:00,693
You looking for work? We always
need help at the shop.
280
00:15:00,994 --> 00:15:03,597
I got a job, dad. Taking care
of your grandchildren.
281
00:15:03,731 --> 00:15:05,898
- Remember?
- Of course.
282
00:15:06,366 --> 00:15:07,768
I meant one for money.
283
00:15:08,802 --> 00:15:11,638
You know, most people think
nirvana was a '90s band,
284
00:15:11,772 --> 00:15:14,274
but they actually
made bleach in '89.
285
00:15:14,408 --> 00:15:16,043
- Oh.
- Personally, I'm more
286
00:15:16,177 --> 00:15:17,977
into their earlier
sub-pop type tunes.
287
00:15:18,111 --> 00:15:20,080
Save it, wheat thin,
we're boozin'.
288
00:15:20,214 --> 00:15:21,482
Come on.
289
00:15:28,488 --> 00:15:29,590
Hi.
290
00:15:30,491 --> 00:15:33,094
I'm I'm Pam young.
291
00:15:34,061 --> 00:15:35,196
Shannon.
292
00:15:37,664 --> 00:15:39,767
Shannon klissanon?
293
00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:42,402
I... of course.
294
00:15:42,536 --> 00:15:46,673
Of course. It's,
it's so lovely to see you.
295
00:15:48,308 --> 00:15:49,510
Rowdy.
296
00:15:50,143 --> 00:15:51,178
Excuse me.
297
00:15:51,512 --> 00:15:52,879
- Hi, Pam.
- Hi.
298
00:15:53,013 --> 00:15:54,982
I haven't seen you since, uh...
299
00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:57,450
Uh, you know, the um...
300
00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:58,585
High school.
301
00:15:58,718 --> 00:16:00,153
Yes. Yes.
302
00:16:00,553 --> 00:16:02,622
I haven't seen you
since high school.
303
00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:04,024
How are you?
304
00:16:04,158 --> 00:16:05,192
I'm great.
305
00:16:05,324 --> 00:16:07,995
You look... great.
306
00:16:08,661 --> 00:16:09,863
Actually, I'm...
307
00:16:10,598 --> 00:16:13,100
I'm doing really great.
308
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:14,534
That's good.
309
00:16:14,935 --> 00:16:16,571
Michael, Michael, motorcycle.
310
00:16:16,704 --> 00:16:19,440
Serious tactical error
inviting that guy.
311
00:16:19,572 --> 00:16:21,175
Not sure I actually did.
312
00:16:21,308 --> 00:16:23,443
You know
he was a chippendale's dancer?
313
00:16:23,577 --> 00:16:25,980
And he dove
with Jacques cousteau.
314
00:16:26,112 --> 00:16:28,180
Apparently
he likes to wear speedos.
315
00:16:28,314 --> 00:16:31,951
I recently
self-published my 11th novel.
316
00:16:32,386 --> 00:16:34,489
Twelfth. If you count
317
00:16:34,621 --> 00:16:38,258
the anthology
of gothic poetry I edited.
318
00:16:40,293 --> 00:16:41,495
Awesome.
319
00:16:43,563 --> 00:16:45,499
Will you excuse me
for one second?
320
00:16:49,202 --> 00:16:52,773
All right, deadbeats.
Move it upstairs!
321
00:16:54,174 --> 00:16:55,174
Who is that?
322
00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:59,112
You went to kindergarten
through 12th grade with her.
323
00:16:59,612 --> 00:17:00,680
I did?
324
00:17:01,415 --> 00:17:02,817
She must look different.
325
00:17:02,949 --> 00:17:06,386
No, she looked pretty bow-house
back then, too.
326
00:17:06,521 --> 00:17:08,656
- I can confirm that.
- Oh.
327
00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:11,257
- What's up?
- 'Sup, whore?
328
00:17:11,591 --> 00:17:14,562
Did you have anything to do
with planning this nightmare?
329
00:17:14,695 --> 00:17:16,963
Um, my loathing for you
runs deep, big sis,
330
00:17:17,097 --> 00:17:19,599
but not deep enough
to throw you a surprise party.
331
00:17:19,733 --> 00:17:21,067
Thank you for dressing up.
332
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,169
What? And overshadow
your lameness
333
00:17:23,302 --> 00:17:24,504
on your special night?
334
00:17:24,638 --> 00:17:26,640
I would never.
335
00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:30,811
Madame d'coy.
336
00:17:30,945 --> 00:17:32,178
Pamela.
337
00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:34,581
So good to see you.
338
00:17:35,983 --> 00:17:37,350
I was flattered
339
00:17:37,485 --> 00:17:39,119
when Michael reached out to me
340
00:17:39,253 --> 00:17:40,352
on the book of the face.
341
00:17:40,486 --> 00:17:42,156
I could not say no.
342
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,192
I never say no.
343
00:17:47,393 --> 00:17:51,230
My mother, she is dying
a slow, horrible death.
344
00:17:51,364 --> 00:17:54,200
The bile of impermanence
consuming her.
345
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,802
I'm so sorry to hear that.
346
00:17:55,936 --> 00:17:57,370
How do we know
we are really alive
347
00:17:57,504 --> 00:18:01,041
until we are pinned
under the razor sharp boot
348
00:18:01,175 --> 00:18:02,577
of suffering.
349
00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:05,979
But tonight, we make party.
350
00:18:06,112 --> 00:18:07,981
O... Kay.
351
00:18:08,114 --> 00:18:10,016
Step away
from the birthday girl.
352
00:18:10,150 --> 00:18:11,150
We'll be back.
353
00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:19,826
Wow. Wow, wow, wow.
354
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:22,463
Where'd you get this?
355
00:18:22,595 --> 00:18:24,396
A souvenir
from my stint on timber.
356
00:18:24,531 --> 00:18:25,966
Do you mean tinder?
357
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,468
No, it's like tinder,
but for big and tall people.
358
00:18:28,601 --> 00:18:29,735
You're five-three.
359
00:18:29,870 --> 00:18:31,638
Yes,
and you have to be this tall
360
00:18:31,771 --> 00:18:33,040
to ride this ride.
361
00:18:33,540 --> 00:18:34,642
Okay.
362
00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:37,311
So, who's bright idea was this?
363
00:18:37,444 --> 00:18:38,611
Mike, of course.
364
00:18:38,745 --> 00:18:40,246
He's been planning it
for months.
365
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:41,991
In his defense. He thought
your deal would close today.
366
00:18:42,015 --> 00:18:44,284
Well, the day is not over yet.
367
00:18:45,084 --> 00:18:46,252
I think he was eager to have
368
00:18:46,387 --> 00:18:48,322
your undivided attention
for the night.
369
00:18:48,789 --> 00:18:50,625
Sorry.
370
00:18:51,358 --> 00:18:53,193
So madame d'coy is here.
371
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,062
I still can't believe
372
00:18:55,196 --> 00:18:57,130
Travis brought
his French teacher to prom.
373
00:18:57,264 --> 00:18:58,264
Me neither.
374
00:18:58,431 --> 00:19:00,366
The shit you could
get away with back then.
375
00:19:00,501 --> 00:19:01,501
I know.
376
00:19:01,869 --> 00:19:03,704
She would be guaranteed
five to ten
377
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:06,306
for sophomore shtupping
these days.
378
00:19:06,939 --> 00:19:10,610
So, since his divorce,
have you guys... you know?
379
00:19:10,744 --> 00:19:11,610
Travis and me?
380
00:19:11,745 --> 00:19:13,080
Yeah.
381
00:19:13,213 --> 00:19:14,880
I thought you always wanted to.
382
00:19:15,014 --> 00:19:17,350
What? What!
383
00:19:18,217 --> 00:19:19,217
No?
384
00:19:19,452 --> 00:19:20,954
- No!
- Okay.
385
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:24,658
I mean, years ago.
386
00:19:27,226 --> 00:19:28,328
Hey. Oh.
387
00:19:28,762 --> 00:19:30,798
Hey, you.
Where've you been hiding?
388
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:32,565
Who ordered the ceviche?
389
00:19:32,699 --> 00:19:35,134
Coz my insides just went out.
390
00:19:35,936 --> 00:19:38,638
I have some ginger mints
in my purse.
391
00:19:38,772 --> 00:19:39,907
Like candy is gonna cure
392
00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:41,508
20 years
of irritable bowel syndrome.
393
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,177
Listen. I'm going to keep this
on reserve all night.
394
00:19:45,544 --> 00:19:46,846
Good luck with Travis.
395
00:19:48,748 --> 00:19:50,550
I mean, can you blame
her bowels?
396
00:19:50,684 --> 00:19:52,720
She didn't even wash her hands.
397
00:19:53,687 --> 00:19:55,790
Close your mouth.
398
00:19:57,690 --> 00:20:00,160
- nailed it.
- Yeah, it's...
399
00:20:01,128 --> 00:20:02,128
Yeah.
400
00:20:16,176 --> 00:20:17,211
Yes.
401
00:20:30,523 --> 00:20:31,523
Michael.
402
00:20:31,623 --> 00:20:32,758
What do you think?
403
00:20:33,392 --> 00:20:35,828
You know what, I don't care
what your friends say about you,
404
00:20:35,962 --> 00:20:37,498
I think you're pretty great.
405
00:20:40,363 --> 00:20:43,033
Have no fear, friends,
the doctor is here
406
00:20:43,168 --> 00:20:47,004
to guide you on this journey
back to your youth,
407
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,139
when the pants were pegged,
408
00:20:49,674 --> 00:20:53,177
the swatch
was the timepiece of choice
409
00:20:53,311 --> 00:20:54,912
and the only page
you had to like
410
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,613
was your favorite band
on the cover
411
00:20:56,747 --> 00:20:58,181
of your trapper keeper.
412
00:20:58,315 --> 00:21:00,550
Now, if you're wondering
why I'm still anchored
413
00:21:00,685 --> 00:21:04,755
to this festering cauldron
of piping hot tripe water,
414
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,256
called the '80s, let's just say
415
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,992
I'm attempting to live up
416
00:21:08,126 --> 00:21:10,962
to certain
financial responsibilities
417
00:21:11,094 --> 00:21:14,331
to two ex-wives and the IRS
that I accrued
418
00:21:14,465 --> 00:21:19,003
during a 16-year ride
on the white line to oblivion.
419
00:21:19,136 --> 00:21:21,672
Basically, I need the scratch.
420
00:21:21,805 --> 00:21:23,274
But enough about me.
421
00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:27,144
Let us now set sail
for those halcyon days
422
00:21:27,277 --> 00:21:29,913
when everybody
wanted to rule the world.
423
00:21:43,860 --> 00:21:45,030
424
00:21:46,563 --> 00:21:47,563
Punks.
425
00:21:49,257 --> 00:21:50,659
Who are these people?
426
00:21:50,793 --> 00:21:53,062
I told Mike to make
the Facebook invite private.
427
00:21:53,629 --> 00:21:55,764
Wait, this is a public event
on Facebook?
428
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,801
- What is the difference?
- I don't know,
429
00:21:57,934 --> 00:22:00,269
117 strangers
at my birthday party.
430
00:22:00,401 --> 00:22:03,438
- Plus, I'm not even on Facebook.
- These aren't strangers.
431
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:06,676
We went to hight school
with these people. I think.
432
00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:09,911
Okay, so is this
a birthday party
433
00:22:10,045 --> 00:22:10,912
or a reunion?
434
00:22:11,046 --> 00:22:13,216
Just for clarification.
435
00:22:13,616 --> 00:22:14,985
- Hi, Janie.
- Doug.
436
00:22:16,718 --> 00:22:17,821
Hello.
437
00:22:17,954 --> 00:22:19,889
- Never gonna happen, Doug.
- Oh.
438
00:22:20,657 --> 00:22:21,992
A boy can dream, can't he?
439
00:22:22,125 --> 00:22:24,193
As long as that dream
includes mouthwash
440
00:22:24,327 --> 00:22:26,228
and ample personal space.
441
00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:27,562
Oh!
442
00:22:27,964 --> 00:22:29,197
Thank you.
443
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:30,966
Ooh. Sick burn.
444
00:22:32,034 --> 00:22:33,469
What's up with the book ends?
445
00:22:34,504 --> 00:22:37,540
No need to whisper, my friend.
They don't speak English.
446
00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:39,107
None?
447
00:22:39,308 --> 00:22:41,077
None. Watch this.
448
00:22:41,843 --> 00:22:42,978
Bananas.
449
00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:46,049
Nothing.
450
00:22:47,049 --> 00:22:48,818
So, are you, uh,
451
00:22:48,950 --> 00:22:49,950
teaching French?
452
00:22:50,018 --> 00:22:53,188
No, I retired after the 2ky.
453
00:22:54,157 --> 00:22:55,958
You mean, y2k?
454
00:22:56,091 --> 00:22:57,494
It was a bust, I know.
455
00:22:57,627 --> 00:23:00,030
My partner at the time,
he was, how do you say?
456
00:23:00,162 --> 00:23:01,363
Two polar.
457
00:23:02,164 --> 00:23:05,100
- It's bipolar.
- Yes.
458
00:23:05,235 --> 00:23:06,502
Very confused.
459
00:23:06,636 --> 00:23:09,572
He convinced me
to move into the woods.
460
00:23:10,372 --> 00:23:13,475
We lived off the land
and had our own fecal compost
461
00:23:13,609 --> 00:23:14,610
for three years.
462
00:23:14,744 --> 00:23:17,147
Until he contracted
lyme disease.
463
00:23:19,849 --> 00:23:21,117
Where'd you find them?
464
00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:22,661
They showed up
at my seminar in Prague.
465
00:23:22,685 --> 00:23:25,120
They're marginally famous
contortionists,
466
00:23:25,254 --> 00:23:26,934
but they're looking
to grow their portfolio
467
00:23:27,055 --> 00:23:28,055
of appreciating assets.
468
00:23:28,091 --> 00:23:29,625
Just like the rest of us.
469
00:23:30,059 --> 00:23:31,994
So, they tie themselves
in knots?
470
00:23:32,460 --> 00:23:35,164
They can work themselves
into any sort of kink.
471
00:23:36,532 --> 00:23:37,701
I bet they can.
472
00:23:38,700 --> 00:23:39,868
You know, um...
473
00:23:40,436 --> 00:23:44,107
You're the only teacher to ever
give me a c in high school.
474
00:23:45,140 --> 00:23:46,508
Did you deserve it?
475
00:23:48,043 --> 00:23:49,043
I mean...
476
00:23:49,279 --> 00:23:51,080
I didn't think so at the time.
477
00:23:51,414 --> 00:23:52,782
I drank a lot then.
478
00:23:52,916 --> 00:23:55,318
I was eager to feel something.
479
00:23:55,985 --> 00:23:58,354
Your disappointment fed me.
480
00:23:58,921 --> 00:24:00,289
Kept me alive.
481
00:24:02,323 --> 00:24:04,060
- Mike. Long time.
- Yeah.
482
00:24:04,193 --> 00:24:05,194
How are you?
483
00:24:05,328 --> 00:24:06,495
I'm good. I'm good.
484
00:24:06,629 --> 00:24:08,464
Hey, whatever happened
to baseball?
485
00:24:08,598 --> 00:24:11,300
- I thought I'd seen you on TV.
- Yep. That was the plan.
486
00:24:11,434 --> 00:24:13,202
Then I tore my ucl
right up the ball
487
00:24:13,335 --> 00:24:14,769
and frayed my shoulder.
488
00:24:14,904 --> 00:24:16,414
- Did a little triple a...
- Bummer, that's a bummer
489
00:24:16,438 --> 00:24:18,006
- got a little TV time.
- But hey.
490
00:24:18,140 --> 00:24:20,442
It's a kids' game anyway, right?
All right.
491
00:24:24,780 --> 00:24:25,780
492
00:24:32,321 --> 00:24:33,423
Boo.
493
00:24:34,055 --> 00:24:36,658
Oh. Hi.
494
00:24:40,428 --> 00:24:43,099
You know, I was just thinking
about that algebra ii.
495
00:24:43,799 --> 00:24:46,536
Trig? The final we stayed up
all night for?
496
00:24:46,936 --> 00:24:50,240
Oh. We had algebra ii together?
497
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:51,840
Yeah.
498
00:24:53,743 --> 00:24:55,378
Yeah. You and your dog.
499
00:24:56,011 --> 00:24:57,413
What was his name?
500
00:24:57,780 --> 00:24:58,780
Sting?
501
00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:03,119
- You remember my dog?
- Of course.
502
00:25:04,986 --> 00:25:06,422
He ate all our pizza.
503
00:25:08,123 --> 00:25:09,824
Threw it up
all over your pillow.
504
00:25:10,191 --> 00:25:11,293
Okay?
505
00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:13,594
Wow.
506
00:25:13,996 --> 00:25:16,731
You have, like, a complete...
507
00:25:17,466 --> 00:25:19,702
Memory, filled with so much.
508
00:25:20,369 --> 00:25:21,638
I had to, um...
509
00:25:22,470 --> 00:25:24,973
Defrag the old hard drives
510
00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:26,442
for the bar exam.
511
00:25:26,574 --> 00:25:29,812
You know.
So that's probably why...
512
00:25:30,879 --> 00:25:32,181
University of Chicago.
513
00:25:33,114 --> 00:25:34,114
Oh!
514
00:25:34,516 --> 00:25:36,251
- You went there too.
- No.
515
00:25:36,985 --> 00:25:38,088
Oh.
516
00:25:38,921 --> 00:25:40,556
That's where you studied law.
517
00:25:40,689 --> 00:25:42,624
I... I did.
518
00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:44,226
How did you...
519
00:25:45,093 --> 00:25:46,595
I've kept tabs on you.
520
00:25:48,162 --> 00:25:49,466
You know, since...
521
00:25:50,331 --> 00:25:51,434
That night.
522
00:25:54,870 --> 00:25:55,870
Okay.
523
00:25:58,139 --> 00:25:59,708
It was so good seeing you.
524
00:26:01,142 --> 00:26:02,245
Okay.
525
00:26:05,914 --> 00:26:05,917
Love you too.
526
00:26:06,042 --> 00:26:08,711
You know that guy's got,
like, two million followers.
527
00:26:08,844 --> 00:26:11,648
Yeah, but they're all
Russian bots like those two.
528
00:26:12,748 --> 00:26:14,116
How do I get verified?
529
00:26:14,551 --> 00:26:15,718
No one knows.
530
00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:18,388
Verify me.
531
00:26:45,548 --> 00:26:47,651
Yo, Michael! Whoop-whoop!
532
00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:58,015
- Hi.
- Hi. Boy,
533
00:26:58,782 --> 00:27:00,317
sounds like a three-alarm.
534
00:27:01,052 --> 00:27:02,486
Didn't know you were
a firefighter.
535
00:27:02,619 --> 00:27:05,589
Oh, no. Just a lawyer.
536
00:27:06,057 --> 00:27:07,057
Oof.
537
00:27:08,191 --> 00:27:09,191
Sorry.
538
00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:10,794
It's okay. So, lemme guess,
539
00:27:10,928 --> 00:27:13,698
you climbed Everest
before the age of 25?
540
00:27:14,099 --> 00:27:16,867
Married the fit Peruvian
shaman lady
541
00:27:17,001 --> 00:27:19,003
who guided you to machu picchu.
542
00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:21,907
Sailed around the globe
on a solar-powered boat.
543
00:27:22,039 --> 00:27:23,641
Let me down easy.
What've you been up to
544
00:27:23,774 --> 00:27:25,642
- the past 20 years?
- No, no, uh...
545
00:27:26,010 --> 00:27:28,845
Well, actually, no, I did go
on a cruise to Alaska.
546
00:27:29,312 --> 00:27:30,715
With my ex-wife and our son.
547
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,484
But that was before
she married Claire.
548
00:27:33,617 --> 00:27:35,486
My orthodontist partner.
549
00:27:35,619 --> 00:27:37,988
You're an orthodontist? Huh.
550
00:27:38,488 --> 00:27:40,858
Really? Uh, I thought
the more titillating part
551
00:27:40,992 --> 00:27:43,827
of that story would be my wife
leaving me for another woman.
552
00:27:43,961 --> 00:27:45,562
You always knew
how to surprise...
553
00:27:45,697 --> 00:27:47,698
Oh. Hold on, sorry.
554
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,236
Twenty-four hour attorney, huh?
555
00:27:52,736 --> 00:27:54,238
Must pay well.
556
00:27:54,372 --> 00:27:57,274
Don't be fooled by my, uh,
formal attire.
557
00:27:57,908 --> 00:28:00,028
I work out million dollar deals
for my clients all day
558
00:28:00,111 --> 00:28:01,812
and then go home
and try to figure out
559
00:28:01,945 --> 00:28:03,180
if my cheque has deposited
560
00:28:03,314 --> 00:28:05,582
before my cable autopay
has gone through.
561
00:28:05,715 --> 00:28:07,484
And things like that.
562
00:28:07,619 --> 00:28:08,720
Wow.
563
00:28:13,291 --> 00:28:15,593
- Can I help you?
- A pack of lights
564
00:28:15,727 --> 00:28:16,794
and tin of wintergreen?
565
00:28:16,928 --> 00:28:18,463
I told Pam I'd quit.
566
00:28:18,595 --> 00:28:19,930
- Did you?
- Not really.
567
00:28:20,265 --> 00:28:22,300
Don't you remember
health class, Doug?
568
00:28:22,434 --> 00:28:24,135
"Tobacco stunts your growth."
569
00:28:25,535 --> 00:28:26,604
Wait.
570
00:28:26,903 --> 00:28:29,506
- Phyllis. Phyllis okano.
- Yeah.
571
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,676
- Four-eyed Phyllis!
- Oh, he said it.
572
00:28:31,809 --> 00:28:33,544
Okay.
573
00:28:33,678 --> 00:28:36,080
Hey. What happened
to the other two?
574
00:28:36,414 --> 00:28:40,118
Oh. Total eye replacement.
I grow clones in my basement.
575
00:28:41,919 --> 00:28:44,055
- Lol.
- Yeah.
576
00:28:44,187 --> 00:28:45,356
You look great.
577
00:28:45,490 --> 00:28:47,425
Oh, thank you. So do you.
578
00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,093
That is a lie.
579
00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:52,163
I look like high school me
went into anaphylactic shock.
580
00:28:52,296 --> 00:28:53,296
Oh.
581
00:28:53,363 --> 00:28:54,465
True, but...
582
00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:56,133
What happened to your pants?
583
00:28:56,267 --> 00:28:58,002
We're having a big
high school reunion
584
00:28:58,135 --> 00:29:00,904
- over at the banquet hall.
- No, it's, uh, Pam's birthday.
585
00:29:01,039 --> 00:29:03,807
But your welcome to stop by
after your shift is over.
586
00:29:03,941 --> 00:29:05,610
Oh, I'm stuck here
until midnight,
587
00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,812
but wish Pam
happy birthday from me?
588
00:29:07,945 --> 00:29:09,479
- I will. I will.
- Thanks.
589
00:29:09,879 --> 00:29:11,048
- Uh, hey, Doug?
- Yeah.
590
00:29:11,582 --> 00:29:14,619
- Can I ask you a weird question?
- Absolutely. What's up?
591
00:29:15,119 --> 00:29:18,155
Did you toilet paper
my parents' house?
592
00:29:20,457 --> 00:29:21,992
What!
593
00:29:22,126 --> 00:29:23,662
It happened a lot in high school
594
00:29:23,794 --> 00:29:25,514
and over the last years
it started up again,
595
00:29:25,562 --> 00:29:27,298
so my dad installed a camera.
596
00:29:28,999 --> 00:29:30,601
Smart.
597
00:29:30,934 --> 00:29:32,803
I ask because he showed it to me
598
00:29:32,936 --> 00:29:35,205
and the guy on there
looks a lot like you.
599
00:29:38,276 --> 00:29:39,744
That's weird.
600
00:29:40,077 --> 00:29:42,245
You know I don't live there
anymore, right?
601
00:29:42,378 --> 00:29:43,447
Not since college.
602
00:29:43,581 --> 00:29:44,682
Yeah.
603
00:29:44,816 --> 00:29:46,318
Of course. Totally.
604
00:29:46,450 --> 00:29:48,352
I know you don't live
with your parents.
605
00:29:48,486 --> 00:29:50,588
You're an adult
and you moved somewhere else.
606
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,724
I don't live with my parents.
Oh, I live with my mom now.
607
00:29:53,858 --> 00:29:58,129
Well see, coz my condo,
it went under in a sinkhole.
608
00:29:58,262 --> 00:29:59,996
- In the ground.
- A literal sinkhole?
609
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:02,066
Okay. All right.
It's great seeing you.
610
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:03,968
Yeah, it's great.
Oh, you look great.
611
00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:05,903
Okay. Thank you. So do you.
612
00:30:13,776 --> 00:30:15,947
- Dude, she's onto us.
- Us?
613
00:30:17,115 --> 00:30:19,649
I haven't toilet papered
her house since...
614
00:30:19,783 --> 00:30:21,318
Dave grohl was a drummer.
615
00:30:23,421 --> 00:30:24,421
Man.
616
00:30:24,588 --> 00:30:26,623
We were .
617
00:30:27,090 --> 00:30:28,759
That's what Pam just said to me.
618
00:30:28,892 --> 00:30:30,927
I don't...
Do you really think so?
619
00:30:31,061 --> 00:30:34,131
Yeah, buddy, pfft, mega
620
00:30:36,133 --> 00:30:38,369
Well, she seems
to think you are, uh,
621
00:30:38,803 --> 00:30:40,839
still doing it. The papering.
622
00:30:40,972 --> 00:30:44,508
No, what she said
is a guy that looks like me
623
00:30:44,642 --> 00:30:46,544
- is still doing it.
- Mm-hmm.
624
00:30:55,452 --> 00:30:56,720
- Thank you.
- Look.
625
00:31:00,624 --> 00:31:01,624
Uh-oh.
626
00:31:08,595 --> 00:31:09,764
- Pam!
- Hi.
627
00:31:09,898 --> 00:31:11,166
Guess who we ran into?
628
00:31:11,298 --> 00:31:13,467
- Who?
- Four-eyed Phyllis.
629
00:31:13,735 --> 00:31:14,936
Oh, that poor girl.
630
00:31:15,070 --> 00:31:16,437
Why? What happened?
631
00:31:16,570 --> 00:31:19,139
Nothing. Only that we spent
half of our youth
632
00:31:19,274 --> 00:31:21,977
defacing her home
with charmin's single ply.
633
00:31:22,110 --> 00:31:24,012
Really, it just came down
to geography.
634
00:31:24,144 --> 00:31:25,980
- Exactly.
- It's like her house
635
00:31:26,113 --> 00:31:28,115
is a trading post
on the trail of beers.
636
00:31:28,249 --> 00:31:30,351
Between high school
and Doug's mom's.
637
00:31:30,486 --> 00:31:31,687
Pam, you remember this?
638
00:31:32,019 --> 00:31:33,354
Yeah. Of course.
639
00:31:33,488 --> 00:31:34,622
Running from the police.
640
00:31:34,756 --> 00:31:37,626
Travis puking
under the neighbor's topiary.
641
00:31:37,758 --> 00:31:38,760
Just say shrubs.
642
00:31:38,894 --> 00:31:40,896
Yeah, totally remember. So fun.
643
00:31:41,296 --> 00:31:43,064
You know what?
I'm gonna give a toast.
644
00:31:43,198 --> 00:31:45,668
All right, let's get some shots
lined up, Maverick.
645
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:46,800
All right.
646
00:31:46,867 --> 00:31:48,403
Everyone, come on... Trudy.
647
00:31:48,537 --> 00:31:50,472
Shannon. Toast, shots.
648
00:31:50,972 --> 00:31:52,373
Phil Collins.
649
00:31:52,508 --> 00:31:54,376
Um, all right, guys.
650
00:31:54,675 --> 00:31:55,910
So, it's... thank you.
651
00:31:56,044 --> 00:31:57,120
It's recently been
brought to my attention
652
00:31:57,144 --> 00:31:59,014
that I... we all,
653
00:31:59,146 --> 00:32:01,716
I may have been a
back in high school.
654
00:32:01,849 --> 00:32:03,218
Which apparently I blocked out.
655
00:32:03,352 --> 00:32:06,889
If that is true,
if I wronged you in any way,
656
00:32:07,021 --> 00:32:08,989
from the bottom of my heart,
I apologize.
657
00:32:09,323 --> 00:32:11,026
Now that I'm not a
popular jerk anymore.
658
00:32:11,158 --> 00:32:13,494
I hope
that I can make it up to you
659
00:32:13,628 --> 00:32:16,797
now that we're adults
and we have mortgages
660
00:32:16,930 --> 00:32:17,930
and hemorrhoids.
661
00:32:17,965 --> 00:32:19,800
Uh, look.
662
00:32:20,501 --> 00:32:22,603
A lot has changed
since high school.
663
00:32:22,970 --> 00:32:25,440
But one thing
has stayed the same.
664
00:32:26,608 --> 00:32:28,077
My love for this woman,
665
00:32:28,410 --> 00:32:29,410
right here.
666
00:32:29,878 --> 00:32:30,878
Pam.
667
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:32,981
You did it for me then.
668
00:32:33,615 --> 00:32:35,084
You do it for me now.
669
00:32:35,617 --> 00:32:36,619
I love you.
670
00:32:37,151 --> 00:32:38,151
Happy birthday.
671
00:32:38,218 --> 00:32:39,720
- Aw, thank you.
- Cheers.
672
00:32:39,854 --> 00:32:42,090
- Cheers everyone.
- Cheers!
673
00:32:47,861 --> 00:32:49,164
My therapist and I
674
00:32:49,298 --> 00:32:51,367
have talked a lot
about that evening.
675
00:32:52,133 --> 00:32:53,133
- Okay.
- She says
676
00:32:53,168 --> 00:32:54,836
it shaped my character.
677
00:32:54,968 --> 00:32:55,769
Okay.
678
00:32:55,903 --> 00:32:57,104
That even though...
679
00:32:57,671 --> 00:32:59,173
We're born how we are,
680
00:32:59,874 --> 00:33:01,476
there are often incidents
681
00:33:02,111 --> 00:33:04,613
that introduce us
to our true nature.
682
00:33:05,713 --> 00:33:07,416
And that was likely one of them.
683
00:33:09,318 --> 00:33:12,553
I don't know if you read
my sixth self-published book?
684
00:33:12,687 --> 00:33:13,687
No.
685
00:33:14,722 --> 00:33:16,057
Why not?
686
00:33:17,392 --> 00:33:20,128
I was able to relive
some of the more
687
00:33:21,463 --> 00:33:22,831
intimate moments
688
00:33:22,965 --> 00:33:24,800
from that long
president's weekend.
689
00:33:24,999 --> 00:33:26,100
You know.
690
00:33:26,901 --> 00:33:28,202
Fictionally, of course.
691
00:33:28,336 --> 00:33:29,336
Um.
692
00:33:30,405 --> 00:33:31,573
Say it.
693
00:33:37,044 --> 00:33:38,847
She... She's smelling me.
694
00:33:39,146 --> 00:33:40,414
What's up, Shannon?
695
00:33:40,548 --> 00:33:41,582
Hi...
696
00:33:53,918 --> 00:33:54,918
Boys?
697
00:33:55,419 --> 00:33:57,155
- In here.
- Sweet.
698
00:33:59,490 --> 00:34:01,693
- Come on. Go, go, go, go.
- Okay, okay.
699
00:34:04,262 --> 00:34:05,796
Let me see the stuff? Ooh.
700
00:34:05,930 --> 00:34:06,932
How old is it?
701
00:34:07,064 --> 00:34:08,867
Ah, possibly decades.
702
00:34:09,568 --> 00:34:11,069
That color is concerning.
703
00:34:11,570 --> 00:34:13,838
What is the worst
that could happen?
704
00:34:14,405 --> 00:34:17,941
Sinusoid polyps, paralysis,
early onset death.
705
00:34:18,075 --> 00:34:19,610
So, kind of hard to say.
706
00:34:21,421 --> 00:34:22,455
Hey.
707
00:34:22,988 --> 00:34:24,858
- Hey, man. What's up?
- You tell me.
708
00:34:24,990 --> 00:34:27,059
Not much. Getting a drink.
Need anything?
709
00:34:27,193 --> 00:34:29,995
For you to stop
molesting my friend out there.
710
00:34:30,296 --> 00:34:32,832
Oh. Are you guys together?
711
00:34:33,365 --> 00:34:34,365
What? Uh...
712
00:34:34,434 --> 00:34:35,468
No.
713
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:36,736
Oh, all right.
714
00:34:37,336 --> 00:34:40,372
Look man I'm here with those two
yugoslavian pretzels, all right?
715
00:34:40,706 --> 00:34:43,110
This? This is just dancing.
716
00:34:43,610 --> 00:34:45,010
Oh, it's just dancing.
717
00:34:45,144 --> 00:34:47,914
Okay. You zoot suit-wearing
.
718
00:34:48,048 --> 00:34:49,048
The zoot suit?
719
00:34:49,749 --> 00:34:52,051
I guess we all don't get
to wear steel-toed shoes
720
00:34:52,184 --> 00:34:53,452
to work every day.
721
00:34:53,586 --> 00:34:55,389
What the
is that supposed to mean?
722
00:34:56,256 --> 00:34:57,590
Times change, trevo.
723
00:34:58,490 --> 00:35:00,126
See, you were the shit
in high school.
724
00:35:01,028 --> 00:35:04,831
In fact, you took a shit
on the hood of my oldsmobile.
725
00:35:05,398 --> 00:35:07,365
Yeah, coz you called it the, uh,
726
00:35:07,499 --> 00:35:09,969
- shitmobile.
- Yeah.
727
00:35:10,102 --> 00:35:11,671
That was funny, yeah.
728
00:35:13,573 --> 00:35:15,075
You know what wasn't funny?
729
00:35:16,175 --> 00:35:19,177
My dad saved up for six months
to surprise me with that.
730
00:35:19,912 --> 00:35:22,081
I didn't want to go home
to show him it.
731
00:35:22,481 --> 00:35:23,483
So, instead,
732
00:35:23,883 --> 00:35:25,251
I stood in that parking lot
733
00:35:25,385 --> 00:35:27,354
and I cleaned it
in front of everybody.
734
00:35:29,454 --> 00:35:30,556
Yeah.
735
00:35:31,524 --> 00:35:32,859
You were the shit, man.
736
00:35:35,628 --> 00:35:37,497
But today,
737
00:35:38,898 --> 00:35:41,767
today you couldn't take a shit
on all the cars I own.
738
00:35:42,869 --> 00:35:44,970
Even if I gave you
a month to do it.
739
00:35:45,504 --> 00:35:47,374
Unless you have cholera,
or something.
740
00:35:48,307 --> 00:35:49,474
- you.
- Travis.
741
00:35:49,608 --> 00:35:51,777
- Stop it.
- No, it's okay.
742
00:35:52,244 --> 00:35:53,345
Karma's a bitch, bro.
743
00:35:53,479 --> 00:35:55,915
- You wanna dance?
- I just did!
744
00:35:56,048 --> 00:35:57,048
With your girl.
745
00:36:01,988 --> 00:36:03,690
Whoa! Hey!
746
00:36:05,691 --> 00:36:07,760
That's 12 years of jiu-jitsu,
you dumb
747
00:36:07,894 --> 00:36:09,995
Kick his ass, trav!
748
00:36:11,631 --> 00:36:15,033
All right, sailors,
that's enough.
749
00:36:15,401 --> 00:36:16,536
Mike? Where's Mike?
750
00:36:20,530 --> 00:36:22,465
- that guy.
- Yeah, that guy.
751
00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:24,375
- I was about to him up.
- Yeah, you were.
752
00:36:24,399 --> 00:36:26,970
If he hadn't thrown you
to the ground and pinned you,
753
00:36:27,102 --> 00:36:29,671
completely immobilizing
your arms, legs, and body,
754
00:36:29,805 --> 00:36:31,407
you'd have totally
him up.
755
00:36:31,541 --> 00:36:34,142
- My heart's really pounding.
- That's normal.
756
00:36:34,276 --> 00:36:37,079
You think it's from the fight
or from the cocaine?
757
00:36:37,947 --> 00:36:38,947
Yes.
758
00:36:40,716 --> 00:36:42,117
Good job, son.
759
00:36:42,619 --> 00:36:45,187
- Lovely party.
- Glad someone had a good time.
760
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:46,889
Not us, but someone.
761
00:36:47,021 --> 00:36:48,490
You okay, pops?
762
00:36:48,624 --> 00:36:50,291
Wouldn't be here if I weren't.
763
00:36:50,425 --> 00:36:52,093
- Goodnight, dear.
- Night, momma.
764
00:36:52,695 --> 00:36:54,330
You should apply for that job.
765
00:36:54,729 --> 00:36:56,432
- Think so?
- What job?
766
00:36:56,731 --> 00:36:58,767
What the hell?
All they can tell you, is no.
767
00:36:58,901 --> 00:37:01,437
What job?
768
00:37:10,356 --> 00:37:12,725
Oh, seriously, who farted?
769
00:37:14,827 --> 00:37:16,062
Uh, that would be me.
770
00:37:17,030 --> 00:37:19,698
Uh, deviled eggs
don't eat themselves.
771
00:37:22,235 --> 00:37:23,936
All right, you kiddies
get outta here.
772
00:37:24,068 --> 00:37:25,704
- Send Pam in.
- All right.
773
00:37:30,809 --> 00:37:32,678
She's not out here, bro.
774
00:37:33,745 --> 00:37:35,014
Where'd she go?
775
00:37:36,048 --> 00:37:37,950
Hey! We should do one shirtless.
776
00:37:38,517 --> 00:37:39,785
let's do it.
777
00:37:49,528 --> 00:37:52,931
Hey. Enough
with the '80s already.
778
00:37:53,066 --> 00:37:55,634
- Ain't that the truth.
- It's time to move on.
779
00:37:55,767 --> 00:37:57,903
- Am I right?
- Yes.
780
00:38:00,539 --> 00:38:01,573
High five.
781
00:38:01,707 --> 00:38:03,409
Give me the keys, mayor.
782
00:38:03,541 --> 00:38:05,644
All right. All yours.
783
00:38:11,718 --> 00:38:12,820
Jeez.
784
00:38:13,687 --> 00:38:15,657
Moving on.
785
00:38:27,778 --> 00:38:29,380
Hey, man. Have you seen my wife?
786
00:38:29,514 --> 00:38:30,782
- Your wife?
- Yeah.
787
00:38:30,916 --> 00:38:33,718
You know the Hebrew word
for wife is "eesha".
788
00:38:34,119 --> 00:38:35,887
Which literally means
"my woman".
789
00:38:36,021 --> 00:38:38,157
"Eesh" being the word for "man".
790
00:38:38,423 --> 00:38:39,692
Appreciate your help.
791
00:38:48,749 --> 00:38:51,219
- Find the missus?
- I did.
792
00:38:51,954 --> 00:38:53,254
Where is she?
793
00:38:53,854 --> 00:38:56,256
Faxing her friend
in the janitor's closet.
794
00:38:56,890 --> 00:38:58,961
Hoo. That sounds hot.
795
00:39:01,329 --> 00:39:02,697
Thanks for the support.
796
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,709
Except with a net worth
that's a fraction of mine.
797
00:39:13,843 --> 00:39:15,611
And most of that is Pam's.
798
00:39:15,745 --> 00:39:17,448
Pam, good job. I'm a fan.
799
00:39:17,581 --> 00:39:17,815
Thank you.
800
00:39:17,890 --> 00:39:20,893
Enough with the cake,
already, Dougie.
801
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,128
Anything you leave
can be claimed
802
00:39:23,262 --> 00:39:25,263
on the street in the morning.
803
00:39:25,396 --> 00:39:26,599
Savages!
804
00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:29,635
Jesus Christ. I can't believe
805
00:39:29,767 --> 00:39:32,036
I skipped animal planet
for this horseshit.
806
00:39:32,171 --> 00:39:33,806
Who wants to get a real drink?
807
00:39:34,206 --> 00:39:35,372
I own a bar downtown.
808
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,243
I've never been there,
but it gets good profit.
809
00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,646
- You had me at "your own bar".
- All right.
810
00:39:41,852 --> 00:39:43,754
Oh, Michael?
I knew you wouldn't be
811
00:39:43,887 --> 00:39:46,490
much of an opponent,
but I just felt bad for you.
812
00:39:46,624 --> 00:39:48,292
Sitting at home
with your kids all day,
813
00:39:48,425 --> 00:39:49,326
posting all those
mopey pictures.
814
00:39:49,327 --> 00:39:51,363
I thought this might
cheer you up, but, um,
815
00:39:51,495 --> 00:39:52,965
if you can't figure out a way to
816
00:39:53,097 --> 00:39:54,607
wrangle a few digital
sheep into a pen,
817
00:39:54,631 --> 00:39:57,369
then maybe you shouldn't
be playing this game at all.
818
00:40:02,305 --> 00:40:05,043
So, I guess I'm gonna be
heading out with those guys. So.
819
00:40:13,483 --> 00:40:15,786
Hey, you guys wanna get an uber
to my mom's house?
820
00:40:15,919 --> 00:40:16,919
Sure.
821
00:40:16,954 --> 00:40:18,422
I'll get my own. Thanks.
822
00:40:18,557 --> 00:40:20,325
At this rate I'll probably
sober up in time
823
00:40:20,457 --> 00:40:22,961
to take my 7 A.M.
power yoga class.
824
00:40:23,394 --> 00:40:25,896
- Are you kidding me right now?
- What?
825
00:40:26,164 --> 00:40:28,466
You're just gonna take the loss,
call it a night?
826
00:40:28,599 --> 00:40:30,702
I tried to pay off
the old sea hag,
827
00:40:30,836 --> 00:40:32,503
but he's not letting
us back in there.
828
00:40:32,637 --> 00:40:35,073
I don't mean
to go back in there.
829
00:40:36,608 --> 00:40:39,343
That's where you guys
wanted to spend my birthday.
830
00:40:39,477 --> 00:40:41,612
Did it ever
occur to you to wonder
831
00:40:41,745 --> 00:40:44,282
what I would wanna do
on my birthday?
832
00:40:44,416 --> 00:40:45,883
Where do you wanna go tonight?
833
00:40:46,017 --> 00:40:48,919
I don't know. Just something
where I'm the decider.
834
00:40:49,053 --> 00:40:50,521
Maybe you're never the decider
835
00:40:50,655 --> 00:40:52,255
because you don't know
what you wanna do.
836
00:40:52,356 --> 00:40:53,791
Shut up, Doug. I'm thinking.
837
00:40:53,925 --> 00:40:54,758
Oh.
838
00:40:54,892 --> 00:40:56,094
Fine.
839
00:40:58,396 --> 00:40:59,731
I know what I wanna do.
840
00:41:00,497 --> 00:41:02,700
- Then call it.
- I wanna go toilet papering.
841
00:41:02,834 --> 00:41:04,135
Ah, four-eyed Phyllis?
842
00:41:04,267 --> 00:41:05,669
You know she only
has two eyes now.
843
00:41:05,803 --> 00:41:07,105
I don't...
844
00:41:07,238 --> 00:41:08,906
I don't care is she's blind
or not blind,
845
00:41:09,039 --> 00:41:10,874
I wanna do that shit up.
846
00:41:11,008 --> 00:41:12,910
- Savage.
- Her dad...
847
00:41:13,477 --> 00:41:15,245
Just installed
a surveillance camera.
848
00:41:15,378 --> 00:41:17,048
It's easily disabled.
849
00:41:19,184 --> 00:41:23,655
From what I have read
on the Internet.
850
00:41:25,021 --> 00:41:26,657
Are you serious, councilor?
851
00:41:27,658 --> 00:41:29,561
Serious as a cease-and-desist.
852
00:41:29,693 --> 00:41:31,495
I don't think it's a good idea.
853
00:41:32,796 --> 00:41:35,233
You never took me along
854
00:41:35,365 --> 00:41:37,068
to vandalize
855
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:40,003
that poor girl's house.
Not once.
856
00:41:40,137 --> 00:41:43,540
Oh, my god. Did we hurt
your feeling?
857
00:41:43,675 --> 00:41:46,244
Dude, I spent my entire youth
858
00:41:46,678 --> 00:41:48,814
wishing I could hang out
with you guys.
859
00:41:48,947 --> 00:41:50,615
And this is what I was missing?
860
00:41:50,981 --> 00:41:51,981
Yeah.
861
00:41:52,316 --> 00:41:53,752
What's it to you?
862
00:41:55,019 --> 00:41:56,187
Where are you going?
863
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:57,564
I'm going downtown
to get a drink.
864
00:41:57,588 --> 00:41:59,422
Hey. Do you want
me to come with you?
865
00:41:59,557 --> 00:42:00,557
No.
866
00:42:00,724 --> 00:42:02,760
You take my sister
toilet papering.
867
00:42:03,361 --> 00:42:04,862
But you almost did it, Doug.
868
00:42:05,428 --> 00:42:06,430
I'm proud of you.
869
00:42:06,731 --> 00:42:08,499
If I was
just a little bit drunker
870
00:42:08,633 --> 00:42:10,468
and you still
had all your teeth,
871
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:12,068
you could've made this work out.
872
00:42:12,570 --> 00:42:14,372
Progress was made, big buddy.
873
00:42:14,939 --> 00:42:16,308
Progress was made.
874
00:42:27,885 --> 00:42:28,887
Phyllis go home?
875
00:42:29,287 --> 00:42:30,622
She did.
876
00:42:31,389 --> 00:42:32,923
Are you the guy
that toilet papers
877
00:42:33,057 --> 00:42:34,057
her folks' house?
878
00:42:34,124 --> 00:42:35,860
She said he came in tonight.
879
00:42:36,961 --> 00:42:37,961
No.
880
00:42:38,695 --> 00:42:40,564
I'm just a very diligent wiper.
881
00:42:41,465 --> 00:42:43,834
Looks like you're ready
for business, then.
882
00:42:45,169 --> 00:42:46,337
Yes.
883
00:42:46,570 --> 00:42:48,672
Hey, Mr. Whipple, car's here,
let's go.
884
00:42:50,541 --> 00:42:53,576
Well, we all
have our special gifts.
885
00:42:53,910 --> 00:42:56,747
- I saw you eat a piece of pizza.
- It was delicious.
886
00:43:02,787 --> 00:43:04,989
Hey, my man,
you mind killing these lights?
887
00:43:05,423 --> 00:43:06,590
Dude turn off the lights.
888
00:43:06,724 --> 00:43:07,901
I think he's concerned
he's ubering us
889
00:43:07,925 --> 00:43:09,025
on a drive-by.
890
00:43:09,327 --> 00:43:11,129
- Stop!
- What!
891
00:43:11,262 --> 00:43:12,829
- That's it.
- What's it?
892
00:43:13,064 --> 00:43:15,100
That's the song
I've been requesting all night.
893
00:43:15,233 --> 00:43:17,168
Dude, this song is from 2006.
894
00:43:17,302 --> 00:43:20,437
Yeah, Dougie, you know this is
the song that band was playing
895
00:43:20,570 --> 00:43:22,973
when you stage-dived
and broke your clavicle.
896
00:43:23,474 --> 00:43:26,776
Oh. At the osteoporosis benefit.
897
00:43:27,178 --> 00:43:30,182
No wonder he didn't know
what I was talking about.
898
00:43:32,048 --> 00:43:33,584
It's go-time, people.
899
00:43:42,026 --> 00:43:44,396
Don't worry, I got you, boo.
Four stars.
900
00:43:45,162 --> 00:43:47,698
You lose one because of
that funyun smell in here.
901
00:43:56,907 --> 00:43:59,276
Guys,
are we really feeling this?
902
00:43:59,410 --> 00:44:00,878
I'm kinda tired
and the babysitter
903
00:44:01,012 --> 00:44:02,312
just hit triple digits.
904
00:44:02,445 --> 00:44:04,781
- Don't , Mike.
- Whoa.? Okay.
905
00:44:04,916 --> 00:44:07,584
Three hours ago you called me
906
00:44:07,718 --> 00:44:09,387
Who's now, captain tp?
907
00:44:09,519 --> 00:44:11,519
Okay, ever since text-a-palooza
happened, over here
908
00:44:11,555 --> 00:44:13,791
- it's become a fluid situation.
- Ouch.
909
00:44:14,091 --> 00:44:16,494
- Give me one of those.
- I got you, babe.
910
00:44:17,628 --> 00:44:20,697
Thank you. It's. You know,
tomorrow's a new day. Okay?
911
00:44:21,030 --> 00:44:22,065
What is happening?
912
00:44:22,533 --> 00:44:24,535
I like 40-year old Pam.
She's a badass.
913
00:44:34,111 --> 00:44:35,111
I'm going in.
914
00:44:35,479 --> 00:44:37,281
Oh. Leroy Jenkins!
915
00:44:46,024 --> 00:44:47,892
What can I get you,
mademoiselle?
916
00:44:48,927 --> 00:44:51,061
Do you know what happened
to the last man
917
00:44:51,195 --> 00:44:52,229
who said that to me?
918
00:44:52,762 --> 00:44:56,433
Oh, you smothered him
with your furious passion,
919
00:44:56,568 --> 00:44:58,468
but denied him the honey
of your fruits,
920
00:44:58,602 --> 00:45:00,771
causing him
to wither into a husk
921
00:45:00,905 --> 00:45:03,642
of eternal longing
and desperation?
922
00:45:05,108 --> 00:45:06,677
How did you know?
923
00:45:07,977 --> 00:45:09,014
I'm not a chimp.
924
00:45:13,785 --> 00:45:15,987
Hey, isn't that Pam's sister?
925
00:45:17,287 --> 00:45:20,157
Well, I'll be Steven
Patrick Morrissey, it is.
926
00:45:20,490 --> 00:45:21,891
Your sister's
a real piece of work.
927
00:45:22,026 --> 00:45:23,395
Yeah, she is.
928
00:45:23,528 --> 00:45:25,163
She stupidly
married into a fraternity,
929
00:45:25,296 --> 00:45:27,365
but she works harder
than all of us,
930
00:45:27,499 --> 00:45:29,867
and she still has time
to raise two rad kids.
931
00:45:30,001 --> 00:45:32,436
Yeah, well, complicity
is culpability.
932
00:45:32,570 --> 00:45:34,437
She's not the only lawyer
up in here.
933
00:45:34,939 --> 00:45:36,874
Pam didn't remember
the defining night
934
00:45:37,006 --> 00:45:38,376
of my adolescence.
935
00:45:39,544 --> 00:45:41,779
Sleeping
in your dark living room.
936
00:45:42,213 --> 00:45:44,082
Crawling into my sleeping bag.
937
00:45:44,416 --> 00:45:46,883
Caressing cabbage patches
in the dark.
938
00:45:47,017 --> 00:45:49,854
What are you talking about?
That wasn't Pam, that was me.
939
00:45:49,986 --> 00:45:51,488
- No.
- Yeah.
940
00:45:52,555 --> 00:45:53,758
It wasn't...
941
00:45:55,293 --> 00:45:56,593
- Yeah.
- Wait.
942
00:45:57,961 --> 00:45:58,961
What?
943
00:45:59,030 --> 00:46:00,598
Remember, sting threw up
on a pillow,
944
00:46:00,731 --> 00:46:02,533
we had to share one
and you were wearing those
945
00:46:02,666 --> 00:46:04,835
thundercat underoos.
946
00:46:07,872 --> 00:46:09,373
- Oh, my god.
- Yeah.
947
00:46:09,807 --> 00:46:12,543
You were, like, the first
edgy girl I'd ever seen.
948
00:46:12,910 --> 00:46:15,713
So mysterious.
Smoking those cloves.
949
00:46:15,845 --> 00:46:19,516
In your short skirts
and those doc martens.
950
00:46:20,617 --> 00:46:22,452
I even hooked up with a girl
freshmen year
951
00:46:22,586 --> 00:46:24,389
in my dorms who looked like you.
952
00:46:24,789 --> 00:46:27,024
- You don't say.
- True story.
953
00:46:27,157 --> 00:46:30,361
You know Klaus martens
was a doctor in world war ii?
954
00:46:30,494 --> 00:46:32,596
Broke his ankle
skiing in the bavarian alps.
955
00:46:32,729 --> 00:46:34,932
And found that the standard
wehrmacht boots
956
00:46:35,066 --> 00:46:38,202
were too painful,
so he invented his own.
957
00:46:38,769 --> 00:46:40,937
Okay. Thanks for the update,
Anne frank.
958
00:46:41,072 --> 00:46:42,972
So, where's
the royal court tonight?
959
00:46:43,106 --> 00:46:45,909
Smashing mailboxes,
tipping cows?
960
00:46:46,611 --> 00:46:48,913
Close.
A toilet papering mission.
961
00:46:49,379 --> 00:46:50,615
Did you say toilet papering?
962
00:46:51,215 --> 00:46:54,584
That pot-bellied !
963
00:46:54,986 --> 00:46:57,389
I thought she was asleep
the whole time.
964
00:47:00,832 --> 00:47:02,568
Yes! Yes, yes...
965
00:47:10,309 --> 00:47:13,979
That's it.
Yeah, sweetheart. Good one.
966
00:47:15,747 --> 00:47:17,048
Here we go.
967
00:47:20,051 --> 00:47:22,454
- Gotcha!
- Get out of the way.
968
00:47:38,369 --> 00:47:39,504
Nice.
969
00:47:41,273 --> 00:47:42,842
Time to bring in the closer.
970
00:47:53,618 --> 00:47:54,719
Still got it.
971
00:48:02,293 --> 00:48:04,831
- It's beautiful.
- It really is.
972
00:48:06,664 --> 00:48:09,202
What if I was meant to do this?
973
00:48:10,002 --> 00:48:11,070
Tp homes?
974
00:48:11,403 --> 00:48:12,738
I'm serious, dude.
975
00:48:13,471 --> 00:48:16,073
What if I was meant to do this?
976
00:48:17,074 --> 00:48:20,045
I'm decidedly mediocre
at everything.
977
00:48:20,712 --> 00:48:22,014
I always have been.
978
00:48:23,382 --> 00:48:25,417
I mean, Pam's a super lawyer.
979
00:48:25,885 --> 00:48:28,320
Karen can design
a store-front window
980
00:48:28,453 --> 00:48:30,021
that nobody can ignore.
981
00:48:30,789 --> 00:48:34,025
Mikey can throw a baseball
100 miles an hour.
982
00:48:34,892 --> 00:48:36,694
Jesus, what can't you do?
983
00:48:36,828 --> 00:48:40,265
Resist 65-year old poutine,
evidently.
984
00:48:41,900 --> 00:48:45,170
I mean, what if I was put
on god's green earth
985
00:48:45,302 --> 00:48:47,006
to do this?
986
00:48:47,873 --> 00:48:50,176
If you put it as your profession
on your schedule c,
987
00:48:50,309 --> 00:48:52,511
you could probably
write off the toilet paper.
988
00:48:52,644 --> 00:48:53,779
Oh, shit.
989
00:48:54,312 --> 00:48:55,312
Cops.
990
00:48:55,581 --> 00:48:57,615
- Quickly, quickly.
- Save these.
991
00:48:57,749 --> 00:48:59,819
- Let's go.
- Come on, come on.
992
00:48:59,952 --> 00:49:02,320
- Come on. Follow me.
- My bag!
993
00:49:02,453 --> 00:49:03,588
Follow me.
994
00:49:05,289 --> 00:49:06,289
Guys?
995
00:49:07,124 --> 00:49:08,124
Guys?
996
00:49:08,660 --> 00:49:10,596
Come on, sweetheart.
Fast as you can.
997
00:49:10,861 --> 00:49:13,465
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Come on, give me your hand.
998
00:49:13,599 --> 00:49:15,534
Grab one.
999
00:49:16,368 --> 00:49:17,937
What are you doing?
1000
00:49:18,069 --> 00:49:19,715
These bags are our life, are you
kidding me I can't leave them.
1001
00:49:19,739 --> 00:49:21,807
Leave the bag,
please, I beg you.
1002
00:49:21,940 --> 00:49:23,609
Bag two.
1003
00:49:25,144 --> 00:49:27,146
- Okay.
- Dammit. Give me your hand.
1004
00:49:27,279 --> 00:49:30,582
- Okay. Good. Pull, pull, pull.
- Ow! I got a splinter.
1005
00:49:30,715 --> 00:49:31,949
Sweetheart.
1006
00:49:32,083 --> 00:49:33,952
I feel like I have a
tweezer in my bag.
1007
00:49:34,086 --> 00:49:37,690
Put your hands up
and walk slowly out to the tre.
1008
00:49:37,823 --> 00:49:39,525
Give it, give it. Come on!
1009
00:49:39,659 --> 00:49:41,994
- Get your foot up there.
- Oh. Oh. Ow.
1010
00:49:42,127 --> 00:49:44,662
- Ma'am.
- Handcuffs? Come on.
1011
00:49:45,396 --> 00:49:46,631
Ma'am, calm down.
1012
00:49:46,765 --> 00:49:48,133
- Pam!
- Ow. Ow.
1013
00:49:48,266 --> 00:49:50,534
- Watch the phone.
- I've got my own.
1014
00:49:50,668 --> 00:49:52,102
Let's go, ladies. Come on.
1015
00:49:52,236 --> 00:49:53,771
Excuse me, I am an attorney.
1016
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:55,674
- Okay?
- Oh, good.
1017
00:49:55,806 --> 00:49:58,144
Then you can represent yourself.
1018
00:49:58,577 --> 00:49:59,712
1019
00:50:01,212 --> 00:50:03,648
- The rest ran away.
1020
00:50:15,561 --> 00:50:16,730
Where's Pam?
1021
00:50:17,364 --> 00:50:18,364
The cops got her.
1022
00:50:19,032 --> 00:50:21,135
Dude you saved
the crocodile and not your wife?
1023
00:50:21,269 --> 00:50:23,302
Dude, she could be disbarred
for this.
1024
00:50:23,436 --> 00:50:25,840
Why didn't you just
let them take you?
1025
00:50:25,972 --> 00:50:27,475
It's not like you got a job.
1026
00:50:28,008 --> 00:50:29,142
I didn't think of that.
1027
00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:30,979
She's gonna be so pissed.
1028
00:50:31,845 --> 00:50:33,247
We can't leave her in jail.
1029
00:50:33,381 --> 00:50:34,682
She's too pretty and kind.
1030
00:50:34,815 --> 00:50:36,818
Yeah, and her kids
will be orphans.
1031
00:50:37,784 --> 00:50:39,354
Financially speaking.
1032
00:50:40,620 --> 00:50:41,620
All right.
1033
00:50:42,056 --> 00:50:44,358
Let's go down to the station,
1034
00:50:44,492 --> 00:50:45,793
tell them the whole story,
1035
00:50:45,926 --> 00:50:47,727
and we'll offer ourselves
in exchange.
1036
00:50:47,860 --> 00:50:49,262
They'll let her out, right?
1037
00:50:49,396 --> 00:50:51,331
I don't think
cops barter, buddy.
1038
00:50:52,099 --> 00:50:54,802
But if that's what you wanna do,
I'm down for whatever.
1039
00:50:54,935 --> 00:50:57,270
- Clearly, mon ami.
- Come on.
1040
00:51:03,610 --> 00:51:05,278
It's not mine. Mine's a duck.
1041
00:51:12,220 --> 00:51:13,887
- Hello?
- Hey Pam?
1042
00:51:14,020 --> 00:51:15,756
Um, no, this is her husband.
1043
00:51:15,890 --> 00:51:18,691
The one who hasn't seen her
in three weeks.
1044
00:51:19,193 --> 00:51:21,863
Because you're too
to cut down a couple of trees.
1045
00:51:21,995 --> 00:51:23,698
Clearly you don't know who I a.
1046
00:51:23,831 --> 00:51:25,332
I know exactly who you are.
1047
00:51:25,466 --> 00:51:28,435
You are the prick who can't tie
his own shoelaces
1048
00:51:28,568 --> 00:51:30,671
without calling my wife
in the middle of the night.
1049
00:51:30,803 --> 00:51:32,172
Why don't you just put Pam on?
1050
00:51:32,306 --> 00:51:34,341
I would love
to put her on the phone,
1051
00:51:34,475 --> 00:51:36,610
but the cops
just took her to jail.
1052
00:51:36,743 --> 00:51:38,745
Because she is so stressed,
1053
00:51:38,878 --> 00:51:41,782
holding your tiny,
little hands, Richard,
1054
00:51:41,914 --> 00:51:43,249
to support our family,
1055
00:51:43,382 --> 00:51:45,519
that she took it out
on four-eyed Phyllis.
1056
00:51:45,653 --> 00:51:47,221
Who has her own house now
1057
00:51:47,354 --> 00:51:50,258
and doesn't even have
four eyes anymore!
1058
00:51:55,296 --> 00:51:57,431
Oh, shit.
1059
00:51:57,864 --> 00:52:00,233
- Okay, now I'm in trouble.
- That was bad.
1060
00:52:21,322 --> 00:52:22,322
Guys?
1061
00:52:23,523 --> 00:52:24,758
Stop. Stop.
1062
00:52:25,458 --> 00:52:26,493
Oh, shit.
1063
00:52:33,233 --> 00:52:34,767
Where are you folks headed?
1064
00:52:34,901 --> 00:52:36,845
- Like I'm telling you, copper.
- Shut the up, Dougie.
1065
00:52:36,869 --> 00:52:38,338
We're headed down
to the station.
1066
00:52:38,471 --> 00:52:40,541
I think
you just arrested my wife.
1067
00:52:41,141 --> 00:52:43,810
I figured you were the fools
that threw a surprise party
1068
00:52:43,944 --> 00:52:45,446
before her deal was closed.
1069
00:52:45,578 --> 00:52:46,913
She said that to you?
1070
00:52:47,047 --> 00:52:48,282
Yeah, she did.
1071
00:52:48,681 --> 00:52:51,450
The pressure gets to people,
man. Sometimes they pop.
1072
00:52:51,584 --> 00:52:53,053
Well, I was hoping that...
1073
00:52:53,386 --> 00:52:56,155
You would take me instead.
Can we do an exchange?
1074
00:52:56,289 --> 00:52:58,391
It doesn't work like that,
Tom Cruise.
1075
00:53:00,860 --> 00:53:01,962
Travis?
1076
00:53:02,629 --> 00:53:03,730
Hey.
1077
00:53:03,864 --> 00:53:05,232
How'd you end up
with these idiots?
1078
00:53:05,364 --> 00:53:08,334
Uh, are you kidding?
He's the chief idiot.
1079
00:53:08,468 --> 00:53:09,468
Not now.
1080
00:53:10,636 --> 00:53:11,838
Is there anything I can do?
1081
00:53:12,006 --> 00:53:13,907
Other than lose your job
with good benefits
1082
00:53:14,041 --> 00:53:15,709
because you
and your friends decided
1083
00:53:15,842 --> 00:53:17,310
to relive
your juvenile delinquency?
1084
00:53:17,444 --> 00:53:19,379
Come on, castillo.
We're the assholes
1085
00:53:19,512 --> 00:53:22,215
who did the toilet papering.
Pam wasn't supposed to be there.
1086
00:53:22,349 --> 00:53:24,184
It's not recommended
for civilians.
1087
00:53:24,318 --> 00:53:26,454
- Dude.
- Hey, get it cleaned up.
1088
00:53:26,587 --> 00:53:28,789
I'll convince them
not to press charges.
1089
00:53:29,190 --> 00:53:31,392
You? Get in the car, Maverick.
1090
00:53:31,525 --> 00:53:32,894
Really? Oh, thank you.
1091
00:53:33,026 --> 00:53:34,895
We'll take care of the yard.
Go get your woman.
1092
00:53:35,029 --> 00:53:37,031
- Good luck, Mike.
- Let's go pick up
1093
00:53:37,163 --> 00:53:37,997
the toilet paper.
1094
00:53:38,131 --> 00:53:39,400
Love you, Mike.
1095
00:53:41,135 --> 00:53:43,436
You're a life saver,
thank you so much.
1096
00:53:46,774 --> 00:53:47,874
No.
1097
00:54:04,925 --> 00:54:07,261
Hey, k. I'm sorry.
1098
00:54:08,194 --> 00:54:10,331
Hey. Come on. Karen.
1099
00:54:10,698 --> 00:54:11,698
I know I up.
1100
00:54:11,765 --> 00:54:12,566
I'm sorry.
1101
00:54:12,699 --> 00:54:13,967
Of course you up.
1102
00:54:14,234 --> 00:54:15,735
You always up.
1103
00:54:15,869 --> 00:54:18,137
Especially when it seems
we're on the verge of thinking
1104
00:54:18,271 --> 00:54:20,608
that whatever this mess of
lip blisters and broken dreams
1105
00:54:20,740 --> 00:54:22,109
has been for the last 30 years,
1106
00:54:22,243 --> 00:54:24,044
is finally coming
to fruition.
1107
00:54:24,176 --> 00:54:27,113
Hold on. You never once told me
how you really felt,
1108
00:54:27,247 --> 00:54:28,449
- so how am I...
- No, no, no.
1109
00:54:28,582 --> 00:54:30,418
You don't get
to play dumb anymore.
1110
00:54:30,551 --> 00:54:33,754
You sabotage
this every chance you get.
1111
00:54:33,887 --> 00:54:35,322
- That's not true.
- You know,
1112
00:54:35,456 --> 00:54:38,993
I have always wondered
why I'm not good enough for you.
1113
00:54:39,627 --> 00:54:41,629
When the real
question is
1114
00:54:42,128 --> 00:54:44,865
why I ever thought
you were good enough for me.
1115
00:54:46,033 --> 00:54:47,200
Doug!
1116
00:54:47,734 --> 00:54:49,169
Give me the damn skippy.
1117
00:55:07,253 --> 00:55:09,023
Richard?
1118
00:55:09,724 --> 00:55:11,859
They wouldn't let me
buy your way out.
1119
00:55:12,191 --> 00:55:13,593
So, I'm on my way in.
1120
00:55:13,727 --> 00:55:17,297
You... you paid to get in here?
1121
00:55:18,664 --> 00:55:21,200
Actually,
I think the term they used
1122
00:55:21,334 --> 00:55:25,137
was attempting to bribe
an officer of the law, but...
1123
00:55:25,504 --> 00:55:27,874
I assured them my attorney
would prove my innocence.
1124
00:55:28,008 --> 00:55:31,845
Oh, I can't even go to jail
without you bothering me.
1125
00:55:31,979 --> 00:55:34,114
Your husband has
made it abundantly clear
1126
00:55:34,247 --> 00:55:37,385
that I have boundary issues.
1127
00:55:37,685 --> 00:55:38,919
Wait. You spoke to Mike?
1128
00:55:39,052 --> 00:55:41,254
He gave me a piece of his mind
1129
00:55:41,387 --> 00:55:43,623
about how I've been abusing you.
1130
00:55:44,791 --> 00:55:46,026
He's protective.
1131
00:55:46,959 --> 00:55:48,095
Seems unstable.
1132
00:55:48,229 --> 00:55:49,463
Well you would be unstable too
1133
00:55:49,596 --> 00:55:51,097
if you had to take care
of two kids,
1134
00:55:51,230 --> 00:55:52,899
do all the laundry,
and the cooking,
1135
00:55:53,034 --> 00:55:55,302
and just hear nothing
but complaints
1136
00:55:55,435 --> 00:55:56,836
from your unappreciative wife
1137
00:55:56,971 --> 00:55:59,139
for throwing her
a lovely surprise party.
1138
00:55:59,271 --> 00:56:01,941
All because she has
a very stubborn client
1139
00:56:02,074 --> 00:56:03,676
who won't just pay to remove
1140
00:56:03,810 --> 00:56:06,279
a couple of Willow trees
from an easement.
1141
00:56:10,150 --> 00:56:12,153
I have been a pain in the ass.
1142
00:56:12,919 --> 00:56:14,721
Because I let you.
1143
00:56:16,990 --> 00:56:18,525
I am a deal junkie.
1144
00:56:20,493 --> 00:56:21,661
If it helps,
1145
00:56:22,262 --> 00:56:24,297
I did what you told me to do.
1146
00:56:24,765 --> 00:56:25,966
Oh, boy.
1147
00:56:26,100 --> 00:56:29,169
I talked to doctor, uh,
douche-bag,
1148
00:56:29,302 --> 00:56:30,436
face-to-face.
1149
00:56:31,038 --> 00:56:33,707
And we agreed one of us
would pay for the tree removal
1150
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,142
and the other one
would waive the encroachment.
1151
00:56:36,275 --> 00:56:37,275
Wait, wait.
1152
00:56:37,377 --> 00:56:39,079
So the deal was back on?
1153
00:56:39,212 --> 00:56:41,514
- Soon as I can sign the papers.
- Which I have with me.
1154
00:56:41,648 --> 00:56:43,182
I think
I have the papers with me.
1155
00:56:43,316 --> 00:56:45,185
That is if Mike got them
off the lawn
1156
00:56:45,319 --> 00:56:46,553
when I was hog-tied.
1157
00:56:48,689 --> 00:56:49,689
Just hold on.
1158
00:57:11,778 --> 00:57:13,014
Hey, guys.
1159
00:57:15,916 --> 00:57:17,717
You should be in jail by now.
1160
00:57:17,851 --> 00:57:18,719
We should,
1161
00:57:18,851 --> 00:57:20,354
but unfortunately,
1162
00:57:20,486 --> 00:57:22,957
Pam is the only one
that was incarcerated.
1163
00:57:23,423 --> 00:57:25,225
Mike's worried
she might get disbarred.
1164
00:57:25,359 --> 00:57:27,394
We were hoping
if we cleaned up the mess,
1165
00:57:27,526 --> 00:57:29,296
you might drop the charges.
1166
00:57:29,896 --> 00:57:30,930
Why do you do this?
1167
00:57:31,398 --> 00:57:33,766
My dad is a Saint
and he has enough to worry about
1168
00:57:33,900 --> 00:57:35,368
without all this bullshit.
1169
00:57:36,102 --> 00:57:37,303
Not that you'd care.
1170
00:57:37,437 --> 00:57:38,572
I care.
1171
00:57:39,806 --> 00:57:40,673
What's wrong?
1172
00:57:40,806 --> 00:57:41,941
What isn't?
1173
00:57:42,208 --> 00:57:43,768
My dad spends half his week
at hospitals
1174
00:57:43,810 --> 00:57:46,446
and I moved back home
and I quit my job and...
1175
00:57:46,812 --> 00:57:47,812
Whatever.
1176
00:57:49,115 --> 00:57:51,084
My mom has a bum thyroid.
1177
00:57:51,217 --> 00:57:52,819
Mine has skin cancer.
1178
00:57:53,787 --> 00:57:54,822
Mine's gone.
1179
00:57:56,623 --> 00:57:57,725
Two months ago.
1180
00:58:01,026 --> 00:58:02,262
I'm really sorry.
1181
00:58:03,296 --> 00:58:04,398
About everything.
1182
00:58:05,833 --> 00:58:07,000
Life.
1183
00:58:07,133 --> 00:58:08,501
So beautiful.
1184
00:58:08,868 --> 00:58:10,137
And so fleeting.
1185
00:58:16,510 --> 00:58:17,510
Hey!
1186
00:58:18,979 --> 00:58:20,614
You did this!
1187
00:58:27,654 --> 00:58:28,654
Yes, sir.
1188
00:58:29,523 --> 00:58:30,523
I did.
1189
00:58:31,992 --> 00:58:33,093
Me too.
1190
00:58:33,793 --> 00:58:34,793
And me!
1191
00:58:35,095 --> 00:58:36,297
Spartacus.
1192
00:58:36,962 --> 00:58:37,965
Sure.
1193
00:58:38,097 --> 00:58:39,199
Whatever.
1194
00:58:39,733 --> 00:58:40,733
Sorry, dad.
1195
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:42,269
We'll clean it up.
1196
00:58:43,537 --> 00:58:45,139
You all need to grow up.
1197
00:58:54,256 --> 00:58:56,725
So, I guess I just start
cleaning up, or...
1198
00:59:00,761 --> 00:59:02,896
You know,
they should have a place
1199
00:59:03,030 --> 00:59:05,699
where adults can go and tp
and let off steam
1200
00:59:05,833 --> 00:59:09,370
without the fear
of their spouse being arrested.
1201
00:59:10,504 --> 00:59:11,706
I'd invest in that.
1202
00:59:12,039 --> 00:59:13,039
Really?
1203
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:14,240
Well, why not?
1204
00:59:14,609 --> 00:59:16,276
They got adult coloring books,
1205
00:59:16,410 --> 00:59:18,178
those mature fidget spinners.
1206
00:59:18,879 --> 00:59:20,815
Couldn't be dumber
than that shit.
1207
00:59:21,114 --> 00:59:22,114
Let's do it.
1208
00:59:22,316 --> 00:59:23,417
All right.
1209
00:59:25,020 --> 00:59:26,020
Hey.
1210
00:59:27,122 --> 00:59:29,391
Hey, hey. I got it. I got it.
1211
00:59:32,926 --> 00:59:34,428
Listen, you know this.
1212
00:59:36,431 --> 00:59:37,671
I don't have the best luck with
1213
00:59:37,731 --> 00:59:39,301
people sticking
around in my life.
1214
00:59:39,601 --> 00:59:40,903
But you're still here.
1215
00:59:42,470 --> 00:59:43,704
And the thing that...
1216
00:59:44,872 --> 00:59:45,872
scares me,
1217
00:59:47,141 --> 00:59:48,843
really, scares me,
1218
00:59:50,110 --> 00:59:52,814
is that we give this a go
and you leave me too.
1219
00:59:57,385 --> 00:59:58,486
Well.
1220
01:00:01,489 --> 01:00:03,458
You better man-the-up.
1221
01:00:05,392 --> 01:00:06,662
1222
01:00:11,300 --> 01:00:13,068
All this papier toilette
1223
01:00:13,501 --> 01:00:15,904
and still so much mèrde
in the world.
1224
01:00:36,358 --> 01:00:38,459
Dude, come on.
1225
01:01:09,498 --> 01:01:11,108
- I'm so sorry...
- Tell me you have my bags.
1226
01:01:11,132 --> 01:01:12,534
Of course I do.
1227
01:01:13,333 --> 01:01:14,569
Oh, this is Mike.
1228
01:01:15,270 --> 01:01:16,571
We spoke on the phone.
1229
01:01:16,703 --> 01:01:19,041
- Oh, you're...
- Real husband meet work husband.
1230
01:01:19,173 --> 01:01:20,242
This is Richard.
1231
01:01:20,742 --> 01:01:23,745
All right.
We have a deal to close.
1232
01:01:27,649 --> 01:01:29,351
Here's the last one.
1233
01:01:32,488 --> 01:01:34,155
I'd be lost without your wife.
1234
01:01:34,489 --> 01:01:36,625
Ditto, man. She's the best.
1235
01:01:37,458 --> 01:01:38,592
Get some rest, Pamela.
1236
01:01:39,127 --> 01:01:41,797
Call me, if there are
any last-second hiccups.
1237
01:01:44,083 --> 01:01:46,354
Happy birthday!
1238
01:01:48,488 --> 01:01:51,025
What did I say about surprises?
1239
01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:10,811
- Look.
- Aw.
1240
01:02:18,351 --> 01:02:19,852
It should be about the cubs.
1241
01:02:19,986 --> 01:02:21,754
Tell me
what the socks have done lately.
1242
01:02:21,889 --> 01:02:25,525
- Michael.
- Oh. Hey, coach.
1243
01:02:27,727 --> 01:02:30,564
- Where are your pants, son?
- Oh, uh...
1244
01:02:31,898 --> 01:02:34,234
Pam's birthday. Long story.
1245
01:02:34,568 --> 01:02:36,270
Uh, I've been meaning
to call you.
1246
01:02:36,403 --> 01:02:37,503
Don't know if you've heard,
1247
01:02:37,636 --> 01:02:39,706
I already told him
all that stuff.
1248
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:41,842
Get on with it,
I've got a double-header.
1249
01:02:41,975 --> 01:02:43,642
Having trouble
finding a replacement.
1250
01:02:43,776 --> 01:02:45,278
I don't have
a teaching credential.
1251
01:02:45,412 --> 01:02:48,282
Fortunately, your services
aren't needed to teach physics.
1252
01:02:48,849 --> 01:02:50,650
Oh, good. Yeah, I, uh,
1253
01:02:50,784 --> 01:02:53,554
the only reason I passed
was by copying Pam anyway.
1254
01:02:53,921 --> 01:02:55,497
Well, why don't you come by
and see me on Monday.
1255
01:02:55,521 --> 01:02:56,523
We'll talk about it.
1256
01:02:56,923 --> 01:02:58,993
- Yes, sir.
- And, uh, Mike,
1257
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:00,828
wear some god damn pants.
1258
01:03:00,961 --> 01:03:02,596
I'm gonna ask the
principal to come by.
1259
01:03:03,029 --> 01:03:04,297
Pants. Check.
1260
01:03:04,431 --> 01:03:06,432
Oh, and, uh,
happy birthday, Pam.
1261
01:03:06,565 --> 01:03:08,968
Oh, thanks, coach.
1262
01:03:17,977 --> 01:03:19,913
I'm sure I could still
get the kids to school.
1263
01:03:20,046 --> 01:03:22,983
You know practices are in the
afternoon, a few weekend games.
1264
01:03:23,115 --> 01:03:24,118
Mike.
1265
01:03:24,851 --> 01:03:25,851
Pam.
1266
01:03:26,453 --> 01:03:27,855
Michael.
1267
01:03:29,323 --> 01:03:30,356
Pamela.
1268
01:03:30,724 --> 01:03:31,992
I see you.
1269
01:03:32,492 --> 01:03:34,026
I appreciate you.
1270
01:03:34,327 --> 01:03:35,361
And I love you.
1271
01:03:35,762 --> 01:03:37,896
And if this is
what makes you happy,
1272
01:03:38,030 --> 01:03:40,467
then that's
what I want you to do.
1273
01:03:44,104 --> 01:03:46,539
So am I still
on time restriction?
1274
01:03:49,309 --> 01:03:51,212
Upgraded to probation.
1275
01:03:57,458 --> 01:04:01,062
Did you know?
Napoleon used to be six-seven.
1276
01:04:01,529 --> 01:04:04,932
He lost his kneecaps
in a ballroom dancing accident
1277
01:04:05,066 --> 01:04:07,069
when he was a...
When he was a teenager.
1278
01:04:07,435 --> 01:04:09,770
And they clashed him down
about three feet.
1279
01:04:09,904 --> 01:04:11,140
- Wow.
- So.
1280
01:04:12,373 --> 01:04:15,309
Did you that
was originally invented
1281
01:04:15,444 --> 01:04:16,812
to treat alcoholism?